I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
