I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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