Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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