Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
