Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

Fav 44 1088 3720
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

Fav 47 1231 5378
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

Fav 20 4520 1087
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

Fav 27 1490 5822
share tweet
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall

Fav 5 2552 1157
share tweet
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

Fav 9 4625 1419
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

Fav 6 1580 841
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

Fav 1 1031 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.

Fav 1 268 181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT