and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.