Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
