i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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