after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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