can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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