i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
