i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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