What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
