we have officially lost it.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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