something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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