My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
