I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
