Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
