"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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