I accidentally had phone sex last night
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
