I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize