They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
