What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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