just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
