is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize