my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
