im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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