So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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