I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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