dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
