He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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