it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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