You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
