Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
