Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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