they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
