Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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