Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
