Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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