she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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