i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
