I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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