I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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