Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
