don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
