I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
