Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
