well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This house was built for laser tag.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize