Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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