When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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