every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize