Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
