I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
