if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
