He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
