He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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