I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
