You're my little dorito
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
