They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
