I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Your cock deserves a montage
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
