She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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